Are You Struggling To Reach Sustained Satisfaction With Your Partner?
Are you and your significant other more distant than usual or fighting more often? Do you find yourself in a constant state of irritability, feeling on-edge because you fear that something you do might cause your partner to feel hurt or react in anger? Do you sometimes lie awake at night thinking, “Does my partner even care? Are we headed towards a separation?”
Maybe there are no big issues between you and your partner, but it seems like something is off. Perhaps you are not having as much sex as you used to, and your kisses and hugs are now reserved to when you’re saying “hello” and “goodbye.”
Or, maybe you’re arguing so much, about so many of the same things, that it seems like you cannot truly resolve anything. Are you carefully calculating your behavior with your partner in an attempt to create harmony in your relationship, but feel worn out, unsatisfied and disconnected?
Do you wish you could connect with your partner and feel secure in a trusting, accepting and loving relationship?
The person we love so much in this world – the one who enables us to feel like we’re on cloud nine – can also make it seem like we’re crashing into deep waters without a life vest. Maybe you feel trapped in a seemingly endless cycle of misunderstandings and distress. It might take just a hint of negativity – one cold stare, one lack of response, one criticizing remark or one insensitive joke – from your partner for this cycle to start up.
One of you may avoid emotional engagement, shutting off all feelings and putting up a wall that ensures safety from hurt or ridicule, but also keeps your partner from reaching you.
On the other hand, one of you may lean into your anxiety when it feels like your partner is withdrawn or distant, and in an attempt to connect and feel acknowledged, you may poke, prod and get critical or blame your partner for not giving you what you need. Maybe you’ve tried everything you know to feel heard, valued and loved in your relationship, but nothing seems to be working.
Losing Connection With Your Partner Is More Common Than You May Think
Our early relationships have a profound impact on future relationships throughout our lives. Considering the unique families and living environments individuals come from, along with the past romantic experiences each partner has had, it is easy to see why couples can fall into negative cycles.
It is possible that, without either of you meaning to, you and your partner have fallen into a negative cycle that you observed in your parents’ relationships. Or, perhaps, when you were a child, your caregiver was distant or inconsistent tending to your emotional needs, and now you struggle to feel secure and supported in your adult relationships.
Maybe you or your partner came from previous romantic relationships where there was a devastating infidelity or dishonesty, and now you feel guarded and uncomfortable with vulnerability. All of these experiences can contribute to relationship issues.
These days, couples often face acute stressors from work, school, children, finances, living arrangements, physical health and the like. All of these factors can cause you or your partner to react aggressively or shut down when emotions are high, making the negative cycle appear more frequently and more severely than usual.
Relationship struggles are extremely common. No relationship is without challenges, but there is hope to foster a more satisfying connection and to share a rich, lasting emotional bond. With the help and support of a skilled relationship therapist, you and your partner can learn to communicate on a deeper level, bounce back from moments of struggle with greater ease and build a mutual satisfying life – together.
Strengthen The Love In Your Relationship With Couples Therapy
Through motivating and supportive sessions based in scientifically-supported techniques, you and your partner can reignite the love that brought you together.
As a trained, experienced couple and family therapist, I can help you both better understand how your negative cycle is maintained, how to recognize what triggers the cycle to start up and how to dismantle its power over your relationship. You will learn how to build a fortified bond with your partner and create a positive cycle of interaction, built on emotional safety, trust, reliability and respect.
Our sessions will be open, honest and genuine. I provide a safe, compassionate space where you and your partner can feel comfortable sharing all of your needs, worries, desires and challenges.
It is possible for you to develop greater empathy for one another and truly understand the underlying emotional needs that trigger you and your partner’s sometimes confusing and hurtful behavior. You can begin to feel as though you are both understood.
In our work together, I will not treat conflicts and repetitive, long-standing arguments with a surface-level fix. Instead, we will get to the root of those disagreements and work towards solutions that will reach each of you on a deep level of emotional security where you truly feel safe, loved, wanted and fully able to trust your partner.
In sessions, as a team, we will pinpoint the negative interaction cycle that plagues your relationship. Then, with acceptance and compassion, I will help you question that cycle and dig into the emotions that are feeding it.
As a skilled listener and an objective third party, I can guide you and your partner through difficult conversations about distressing emotions that you may never have fully understand or truly shared with one another.
As you listen to your partner, and feel the comfort of knowing that he or she is listening to you in return, you can discover new empathy and openness. Together, you can establish a secure emotional bond and practice effective techniques to sustain that bond over the long-term.
I use a highly effective approach, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples, that can help you and your partner create a satisfying relationship that might seem impossible. And, as a couple and family therapist, I have seen couples discover real, lasting healing and establish the resiliency they need to resolve conflicts and come back together in the long-term. If you and your partner feel eager for something different, but you’re not quite sure how to create positive change in your relationship, EFT therapy can help get to the root of the problem.
Through couples therapy, you and your partner can build a profoundly rewarding, deeply satisfying emotional bond that will help you carry your relationship through any challenging circumstance. You can feel equipped to navigate the world together as an unbreakable team – partners, friends and lovers.
You may think therapy can help you reconnect, but still have a few questions and concerns…
We need couples therapy, but my partner is hesitant to participate.
Chances are your partner is hesitant because of the social stigma surrounding therapy, the belief that therapy won’t help or the worry that he/she will be blamed for problems in your relationship. Because relationship issues are so common, you and your partner do not need to feel ashamed of seeking some help. What better way to create your desired relationship than with an educated, skilled and experienced professional who won’t take sides and will equally support each of you in achieving your relationships goals?
While you can learn some effective skills and gain valuable insights alone, couples counseling works best when both partners are present and engaged. When we are all together, we can assess your pattern and apply successful relationship tools more easily.
I do not know if our relationship has any hope, so I doubt therapy is worth it.
It is possible that you and your partner have tried other relationship-mending practices with little or no positive results. This can be very discouraging, especially if you know the love between you and you partner still exists.
In sessions, I will use scientifically studied, innovative techniques that are proven to build intimacy, long-lasting satisfaction and emotional closeness in relationships. I can testify to positive results in my clients as well as in my own marriage. Together, we can create a secure, positive interaction cycle that will allow your relationship to stay strong, no matter what life throws your way.
I do not want us to be in therapy for years.
The Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) approach can yield positive outcomes in 8-20 sessions. Even though EFT therapy is relatively quicker than other types of therapy, you must be motivated to commit time and energy to healing your relationship.
If the amount of time you put in is a concern, I invite you to think about how much time you spend arguing with your partner. How much energy do you expend feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and shut out of your relationship? Maybe investing a small amount of time in couples therapy sessions, gradually building a connection with your partner again, won’t seem like such a time constraint when you begin to see the results you’ve been longing – results that will last a lifetime.
You Can Connect With Your Partner Again
If you and your partner are feeling overwhelmed or defeated by relationship issues, I invite you to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation to discuss your specific needs and how I can be of help to you and your partner.
Resentful. Lonely. Unsatisfied. If You Feel This Way, Your Relationship Could Be At Risk.
Take the first step in finding out if your relationship is securely bonded for the long haul or if you should consider getting help. Take this free quiz: Is it Time For Couples Therapy?